Don't get behind in your work

… ripped off from Phil Baker’s website … not sure where he found them

http://www.philbaker.net/

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
9. A backward poet writes inverse.
10. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
11. I wondered why the cricket ball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
12. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!